Find your Niche! I read this a lot when it comes to ‘career' advice, network marketing…or is it digital marketing…am shocking with this terminology….or maybe narrowing down your target market? I won't get into my opinion on that right this very minute but one place it does apply is when it comes down to your own personal interests, your passions, your exercise, who you spend your time and energy around and how best you can serve others. You need to find whatever it is that inspires you and lifts you up but most importantly, you need to be AUTHENTIC.
I had such a wonderful Kundalini Yoga class tonight with Carolyn McTaggart – it was the first of the year and I don't know if it's because ‘I think' she has completed her teacher training or whether it was the 21 Stages of Meditation she did over Xmas/NY – which sounds freaking awesome by the way – but the energy and vibrancy in the room felt different and it was also nice to see Clare there who has an awesome blog you should read called She Of The Wilds – Clare also introduced me to Golden Milk for which I (and many others I tell) will be forever grateful. It was a very busy class and I had just finished delivering my own class, so maybe my mind was in the right state to receive it, but I left feeling energised and blissed – a true skill of any teacher to deliver with so much authenticity and a passion to connect with her students. There are a few yoga teachers around Glasgow who I personally feel don't have that gift and are just going through the motions, and it's really about trying everything, all studios, all types of yoga, all teachers and you will find those that give off that genuine passion, authenticity and real flow to their teaching – you all know who you are!
I have spent time around people in my life, tried to help them find their path, encourage them, support them and highlight their strengths so they can carve out their own way in the world. However, it's come to my attention, sadly, that some people just don't want the help or to reciprocate this kindness and friendship – whether it's narcissism, selfishness or just because they are so caught up in their own ‘story' and their own thought patterns that they don't yet have the strength to break free and think and feel differently. I'm not 100% sure because I have realised pretty quickly not to expend too much energy if you give more that you receive back from people but I think there are genuinely a lot of hurt people, even coaches…who are putting up a mask without turning their coaching focus towards themselves first. There sometimes needs to be a real change in previous thought patterns, experience, environment for them to heal properly, so they can help others with their skills, knowledge and experience of BEING HEALED THEMSELVES.
I have met some truly inspirational and loving, giving people over the last year – they are succesful, pleasant, supportive, encouraging and the key with all of them is their prime motivation is NOT their own self-interest, money or boosting their own ego but the fact that they GENUINELY want to help other people and their AUTHENTICITY shines through, it's not just something they are ‘pretending' at, which I see a fair bit of. Whether that be through health advice, fitness, yoga, career, sharing their own wisdom and experience openly or just to be there to listen to my (sometimes constant) self-doubt – yet they don't judge, they don't talk down to me – they just encourage me and lift me up to believe in myself, something I did not do for many years and for that I am eternally grateful and will always want these people in my life so I can help and support them as much as I can, in my own small way through recommendations, referrals and just being present with them.
I spoke with a wise friend tonight, yes you know who you are(!), about this topic and she nailed it – “Knowledge is only power if it is shared” and she shared the same philosophy as me that “Anyone who is solely focused on making money will fail” – Money or success for me would be a nice by-product of genuinely wanting to help people with their struggles in their life, whether it be stress or anxiety, health challenges, career goals and to see them have relief from their struggles. However, more and more today I see some people so caught up in their own ego that they lose sight of what they should be focusing on…looking outwards instead of inwards.
I must admit that as an introvert I look inside quite a lot but I have felt over the last year that the more I step out of my comfort zone, the less introverted I become – in fact looking back to my childhood through some self-regression Hypnosis – yes I think I might have invented that just for me lol….I realised that as a young child I was actually more of an extroverted character…I played about in class, was quite loud and demonstrative and it was only when I was ‘forced' to move home (sorry Mum 🙂 ) that I sank back into my shell…I was lost…and I was bullied at school which really did not help with low self-esteem and social anxiety that followed.
However, I don't look back much as the healing and realisation of that which followed really helped me break free from so many limiting self-beliefs and made me realise that I can achieve anything I put my mind to….but more importantly…it put me in a very unique position to help other people who have struggled with stress, anxiety, low self-esteem, lack of confidence or just a general lack of belief in themselves…that has provided me with a gift of healing, of at least being there to talk to people and share my own experiences and skills to help them be the best version of themselves…as another wise friend of mine suggested I do more of at the weekend. It's about being genuine, authentic and speaking from the heart – some claim to do so but there often seems to be a sales funnel, a pitch or an ulterior motive attached to that – which people can smell a mile off. Success and money should be a by-product of living in tune with your core archetype and values and wanting to serve other people, first and foremost – not by copycat'ing other Entrepreneurs or using someone elses ‘voice' or techniques as your own – you need to recognise your own heart, your own weaknesses and your vulnerabilities to be able to connect with others that are in the same boat, otherwise it's just all hot air and ego-boosting. It took my a while to take off the mask that I put up to cover my anxiety – I urge others who are not being true to themselves to do the same and REALLY speak from the heart.
Life can be tough but we often need guidance, re-assurance and realisation that it doesn't have to be as tough as we feel it is right now. 90-95% of our thoughts, actions are a result of unconscious thought, only 5% – 10% of thought is from the conscious mind. I really recommend you read the book “Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself” by Dr Joe Dispenza – it's an awesome book (thank you Joanne Rushton for the recommendation) and even more so to listen to the Audio version in your commute or spare time as it sinks in…at least it did for me.
Tonight I delivered the first class of an 8-week MBSR program designed by Jon Kabat Zin but I put my own spin on it and spoke from my own experiences with stress, anxiety because I have been there…at some points stress and anxiety was debilitating and I felt like there was no way out. I soon realised, after some help through Hypnotherapy, that a lot of the root cause was a result of bullying at school and feeling isolated when I moved to London at 17…which is pretty young when I think about it now…especially from a small village outside of Aberdeen. You know what though, I had been telling myself a story about that, which simply wasn't true…it's in the past and made me much stronger as a result, but also gave me the empathy and understanding for those who are similarly struggling right NOW in their lives. Really inquire into your own mind, look inside, be open and attuned to the OTHER person, be present and simply LISTEN more.
So, after bashing people for being egotistical I've been talking about myself a lot lol. However, it's to just to put forward the fact that we ALL have our own unique struggles in life that we have had to overcome, sometimes you may be still struggling to find your path or ‘get over' some limiting self-belief but your journey is totally unique, you are special, one of a kind and there is nobody out there in the world that has lived your life and your experiences…it's simply a case of tapping into that and finding similar people that you can help. The journey starts with helping yourself – I see so many ‘coaches' that are flogging their services and yet they are still not healed themselve, there is yet to be acceptance of who they are and who or how they should be reaching out to people – YOU ARE YOUR FIRST CLIENT! Heal and help yourself before you can help and heal others and certainly do that before you even think about your ‘niche'.