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“Dear Father.”

“It's been 21 months since my last blog post, here is where I have sinned…”

“Yes son, carry on”

“How long have you got Father?” 🤣

Sorry, bad joke but the Fools Child is a large part of me, it was a large part of my dad, so I will throw them in from time to time. Learn a bit more about that me below.

They are the Learner, Player, Feeler and Seeker cards.  Each attribute takes the viewpoint of a child. Here is Beginner’s Mind.

https://bearstarkorie.wordpress.com/2014/03/05/voyager-tarot-archetype-0-fool-child/

Perfect. Beginners Mind. Seeing everything as if it were for the first time.

That is another story for my counsellor and the book I'm trying to write on the side, but I wanted to have a consistent blogging habit, to get the writing muscle exercised, as it's been hibernating the last few years. The goal is just 500 words with each post, not every day for sure, removing all pressure. I'll try my best to be regular, which I'm re-learning is plenty good enough. Looking back, some of my previous blog posts from a few years seem a bit ‘pithy' but that's the Fallen Angel voice and they were right for that point in time and still offer sound advice around mental health, specifically stress, anxiety and depression.

This, is different.

I've been procrastinating for a week, but it was too raw. I was simply surviving. This blog post could have been any number of different things. I waited, I reflected, then I wrote. I still brought out the critic and the editor at the end, that is the hardest part, letting go of the perfectionism, the disjointedness, the wordiness, the incorrect punctuation.

Oh, and trying to remember how to use WordPress and all the joys it brings. All pages disabled bar the blog for now, which is a clean start.

I am just putting it out there in case it helps just one person going through challenges right now.

You can also follow this journey on Instagram @sunlightmind or my SunlightMind Facebook page, where I'm sharing pictures and some thoughts from the day, maybe even a bit of poetry when inspired while keeping everything as light and gentle as possible.

Please interact, connect with your community. Reach out for healing and support. It is vital and saved my life last week. My friends and amazing healers from Lendrick Lodge, my Youth Mindfulness training group, dear supportive friends and my beautiful family, so hard to be disconnected from them at this time. But my mum has FaceTime and her own Broadband, for the first time! There is always a way to connect. You also need to go inward but on those lonely nights, talk to someone who can listen.

I also need to start working again to earn some money. That looks a little way off just yet after experiencing the most significant Soul Loss of my life, only just over two weeks ago, more of that in the next Spirituality blog post. This ESP Journey is about healing a broken, wounded child's heart but focusing on the positive steps.

I'm aiming for ten days, the 19th February to start offering Hypnotherapy, Shamanism and Coaching support for those who are also struggling right now and maybe a few Zoom events. There is some left-brain website, booking, and promotion work to do on that, but the writing and honing the intuitive state are the priority right now, and to simply share my journey.

I want to focus on what is working for me, healing from emotional trauma and hopefully support others going through similar struggles. It's also a nice distraction.

I have to learn how to love myself again, unconditionally.

In the last few weeks, I've identified a few key things that can help move past the pain and the suffering, but it's raw, and a work in progress, so it could go anywhere!

ESP = Emotions, Spiritual, Physical

When all of these are working well together, it can awaken our intuition and help us to achieve a state of flow. I've had more glimpses, synchronicities and trusting that inner voice this week than I have had in the last year.

EMOTIONS 

Emotions are fluid, not set in stone. For me, handling the emotional rollercoaster right now, with lots of Anxiety and Stress during a Global Pandemic, after moving house, comes down to mental training through Mindfulness. Pausing before responding. Simply, start meditating. Here are some of the ways that have helped me, use them, make their own, this is just what's keeping me going right now.

Make the Bed. You don't have to do this first, but just remember to do it before bedtime and it's a win to start the day. Thank and show gratitude for your bed. Get a nice cover. Some pics below of how I have given this home love and it has given it back.

Water the plants. This is a nice gentle way to give love and to really tend to something that gives joy unconditionally.

Morning Practice (Tonglen meditation). See YouTube links below.

Make Tea. This is nice just after morning meditation and can be done all through the day to make a ceremony from it.

In Nature. Doesn't have to be far, don't set targets, just regularly get air and into nature.

Eat. Maybe! Listen to your body. Fasting is an often automatic part of the process of cleansing. I've lost 4KG in 2 weeks. This is because all energy needs to go to the heart and digestion is the first thing that dropped for me.

Brushing Teeth. Fresh breath, I aim to keep it that way after taking up smoking over the last year or so and it impacting on my breathing, my go to for calm.

Washing. Shower or take a bath, listen to what you need. It could be a “Lazy/Spa day after all”. Be kind to yourself. If you need to refresh, you don't have to go full Wim Hoff, just splash cold water on your face as many times as you can handle it to activate the Vagus Nerve.

Jigsaws and Puzzles. Fun and allows you to be fully present. Just do them over a few days if it's too much in one sitting.

Cooking. Find something healthy you love to cook and cook it. The entire preparation through to serving can be a meditation.

Eating. Just Eat. I'm not referring to the app! Just simply sit and eat, perhaps with a nice bread and savour each mouthful.

Washing Up. Yes, I kid you not. I have not used the dishwasher in the last few weeks, washing-up is my meditation and I'd even started dropping that practice out of convenience.

Evening Gentle Practice (Loving Kindness). I use a recording from a dear friend who is an amazing Mindfulness Teacher and it's nice to hear a friendly voice before bedtime. Tara Brach or Kristin Neff are good choices. Plenty of YouTube talks and videos on there around this amazing practice.

Bed with “Silence”. Read some Thich Nhat Hanh before sleep.

Sleep. Set an intention for your dreams and fully feel it becoming a reality.

There are of course many more you can add-in. For example, writing, photography and poetry are re-surfacing for me. Just start small for now. Bring your full focus, attention, awareness to whatever regular task or a bit of joy you give yourself through the day and inhibit it, like a tortoise with the shell. Full focus. Full presence, and when you notice you have wandered off, come back with kindness. You remembered you had forgotten, that is the practice.

Basically, find those regular moments in your day to set aside time for whatever helps you achieve a state of grace, and a sense of peace and awareness.

Usually, I am drawn to Thich Nhat Hanh or some of my old training to kickstart my meditation habit. Still, I was drawn to a few different people this time, I needed structure and re-develop my practice between the raw emotions I'm experiencing.

Some of the books, while remembering to Trust Myself

The first two go hand in hand. I need to keep working on imperfection, just to let what I do, be the best I can while keeping in mind the following. Silence by Thich Nhat Hanh is a fantastic bedtime read and the app (ME) I'm using each morning, just a few minutes each time. The Mindfulness Bell is a reminder to bring me back to the present. These appear like crutches, but I need the structure and support to get back into my meditation and Reiki practice.

I'll be trying to live in each moment with the following always in mind -:  

  • Self-Compassion (Loving Self)
  • Kindness (Kind to Self and Others)
  • Gentleness (Do everything with a light touch)
  • Curiosity (Investigate the pain and joy)
  • Forgiveness (Of self and others)
  • Reflection (What teachings are there?)

With Pema Chodron's cards, I am placing seven cards in different rooms around the new place and breathing them in and being present each time I am there. If I switch them around every few days, I should get through all 59 cards in a few weeks and then pick the seven that I feel will support me going forward.

You will have to buy the cards to get the full details of these, I highly recommend them. 

One of the primary practices is Tonglen. In the morning, I'm practising with either Pema or Tara. I'm also using the technique for any challenging thoughts or feelings through the day, opening the heart to what I would usually push away. 

Pema Chodron's Tonglen Meditation -:

There is also a more extended Tonglen meditation from Tara Brach, another inspiring meditation teacher, here -: 

That's 800 words, good job David! I'll cover Spirituality in the next post, as it's chicken noodle soup time!

 

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